Do you ever feel pressure to live up to someone else’s mothering? How do you explore and experiment with the type of mom you want to be?
We get to decide what our motherhood looks like. We don’t have to re-create someone else’s version, or live up to another ideal. Ours will look different, because we are all unique humans having unique motherhood experiences. And that’s ok!
The job title "Mom" is the hardest and most rewarding position you will ever hold!
When we let society dictate the type of mom we end up being is when you stop being in the moment and miss raising your tinny humans.
Be your authentic you, and you will be the best mom for your children
My son, Jackson was the best gift that I could have been blessed with, but it was also the most challenging. My husband, Alec and I had only been engaged for a few weeks when we found out that I was pregnant.
We were both scared but excited about this new life we were about to bring into this world.
A few months Alec and I went and got married.
I was 24 years old, newly married and now a new mama! I had everyone and everyone inside my family and outside my family, family friends, and people on the street that did not know me telling me their opinions. Their opinions on what was right and wrong, how to raise my son, asking me all sorts of questions regarding work vs not working, finances and basically every question you could imagine, and every question that was nobody business outside of my husband and mine.
For the first 3 years of my son's life my husband blessed me with the ability to stay home with our son and be a stay at home mom. At the time it was the only option... we could not afford any other option. But, when I look back now, what an amazing time that was. I was so blessed to have been able to get this time with my son.
Only when I thought I was done having kids... my son was enough, and honestly, I could not imagine loving another baby as much as I loved him... and well I also did not want to go through another labor and delivery ever again (my son was an at-home water birth that took 69 hours of natural labor)! I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. I called my husband crying out of pour terror.
I was so afraid.
How were we going to start all over? My son was 7! How was I going to go through another labor?! How was I going to be pregnant again?! Every question under the son came into my head and out my eyes!
Then once again I got all of the questions, all of the unwanted, unnecessary and frankly rude questions from everyone that thought they deserved an opinion. Do they think it helps? Do they think we are not responsible adults?
Social media only amplifies the "right" way to do everything! You end up comparing yourself to all the other moms out there... even when you don't mean to!
After having my daughter I have given myself permission to say "NO" to not give an excuse for not wanting to have people over, or not wanting to go somewhere and not feeling obligated to do everything!
This labor and delivery was a whole different experience that one day I will end up writing about... but for now I will say was an experience that terrified both my husband and I. An experience that brought me to think that I lied to my son when I told him I would see him soon and that we would go home together. An experience I thought would change my children's story forever. But, then I remembered... I am strong. I am amazing. I am a MOM!
The next time you think you are not "enough" or a "good" mom or even "the" mom, remember this... you created a human! You created something, from nothing. And that something is an amazing human that needs you! And yes, there are many days that I need to remind myself of this. The days when I am struggling to get it all done! To keep my head out from under the water! The days that I drive through a fast-food restaurant because I do not have the energy to cook dinner. The days that, hell, I do not have the energy to even take a shower, and these days with an almost 6-month-old baby and an almost 8-year-old boy I am reminding myself of this often.
But I know... that this is just a season and it too will pass.
We get to decide what our motherhood looks like. We don’t have to re-create someone else’s version, or live up to another ideal. Ours will look different, because we are all unique humans having unique motherhood experiences. And that’s ok!
Komen